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DOKTOR TODDZILLA'S LYRICS PAGE

YOU NEED WORDS OTHERWISE YOU JUST GO LALALALA.

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THIS ONE'S A DORK

I've spent so much time inside you and you know what I mean

Not just like in pages in some dirty magazine

And when our time was over and it all came to an end

I counted myself lucky that I kept you as a friend

I've kept up with your boyfriends for the last five years or so

And baby there is something that you really ought to know

This one's a dork

He's so much useless pork

You might think that you're in love and so you just can't see

But I'd go take another look if only you were me

This one's a dork

His eyes are close together and there's just no spark inside

And he's got no respect for things in which you take such pride

Don't like the way he looks a you or how he seems to touch

And maybe I don't like the fact he doesn't like me much

I know that love is blind and there's no easy antidote

But let me go on record 'cause he doesn't get my vote

This one's a dork

This one's a salad fork

Take it from me, you know that you want a love that's real

Don't want to have to live your life with some big imbecile

This one's a dork

Now I liked Johnny very much, and Leo he was funny

Robert was a handsome guy, and George at least had money

But this one don't have wit or class or looks or bread or brains

It seems to me that you are temporally insane

I want you to be happy and to follow all your bliss

So do what you think best but honey listen once to this

This one's a dork

He's worse than Peter Tork

You might think that you're in love and so you just can't see

But I'd go take another look if only you were me

This one's a dork

GOOD GUMBO

Way down in Lousiania, where the Cajun people go

Way on into the Bayou, off of the old main road

Out in a shack in the shadows, livin' there all alone

Is a woman that they call Mama, and she makes the best gumbo

The good gumbo

People come from miles around, because the stuff's so good

They don't know her secret, and wouldn't tell you if they could

It might be how she cooks the okra, it might be something in the roux

Or it might be something special only Cajun people do

With the good gumbo

I feel like a different man, after my first bowl

Nourishes your body and it satisfies your soul

Some say it'll heal the sick, and some say it'll raise the dead

If you got plans for travelin', you might stay down here instead

For the good gumbo

EVERYBODY GREW UP BUT ME (PETER'S SONG)

Wendy I'm sorry

You know I'd change it if I could

Sometimes it seems that there's no change that's for the good

Lived out my life on the island, and now the new days got me shook

All the members of my former band turnin' into Captain Hook

The Lost Boys all found new jobs

Sellin' politics and law

Smee and that old crocodile have a shop down in the mall

Tinkerbell lit out somewhere, and left me all alone

Have to do what I can do

To make it on my own

Everybody grew up but me

I have to make my apologies

For all the money I never spent

The ugly places I never went

The big career path I didn't take

The hearts and dreams I refused to break

For all the things I didn't do

Expectations I didn't fulfill for you

Condominiums growin'

Here in NeverNever land

I don't want to stay here, and I'm leavin' if I can

Must be somethin' somewhere that's a better place for me

Must be someone somehow that still knows how to believe

Everybody grew up but me---

BARGAIN BIN

Well, I used to be there on the inside track

On a major label with a pretty good deal

Runnin' well ahead of the rest of the pack

Hangin' around with the real big wheels

I'm sure that you wouldn't remember it now

Though it got great reviews in the magazines

Yeah, it wasn't even really that long ago

That's my CD in the bargain bin

I spent my time and I spent my cash

I gave my heart just like the songs all said

And my ears and the skin on my fingertips

As it all turned out I could've stayed in bed

That's what it comes down to in the end

And you can get it for real cheap, my friend

Do you like good music? Well it all depends

That's my CD there in the bargain bin

The Record Exec said "Listen here, son

You can crossover here and you can crossover there

We're gonna get your video on the VH-1

And the next thing you know you can be everywhere'"

Well that sounded pretty good, so I played the game

Then the Promo folks, they picked up the pace

I got a little nervous when they changed my name

And the next thing I knew I couldn't recognize my face...

Well, the Company spun me round and around

Till I said "Hey! You're makin' me a mental case

You want to change my looks and to change my sound

Why'd you sign me up in the first damn place?

You don't like what I'm doin' then you don't like me"

I'm sure they didn't like my attitude

They found another worker for their factory

And they let my little CD slide down the tubes

I spent my time and I spent my cash

I gave my heart just like the songs all said

And my ears and the skin on my fingertips

As it all turned out I could've stayed in bed

That's what it comes down to in the end

And you can get it real cheap, my friend

Do you like good music? Well it all depends

That's my CD there in the bargain bin

Well workin' this little club ain't so bad

The pay's not too shabby and the drinks are free

You just cant worry 'bout what you could have had

And you won't see me on your TV

I still get to party and I still get to play

Sell my CD's off the stage if I have some luck

And that's why I started out anyway

If you want one, I got hundreds of 'em in my truck!

Spent my time and I spent my cash

I gave my heart just like the songs all said

And my ears and the skin on my fingertips

As it all turned out I could've stayed in bed

That's what it comes down to in the end

And you can get it real cheap, my friend

Do you like good music? Well it all depends

That's my CD in the bargain bin

SHADOW LAKE

The evil clowns are sneakin' thru the bushes

And the cheerleaders are long gone home

The lapidary spaniel is down along the beach

Where he's chewin' on some dead students bones

And me, I'm considering some facial tattoos

Wonderin' what effect that might make

It's different in the dusk that smells of old guitars and musk

When you're out on Shadow Lake

The vagrants are all out there swimmin' naked

The ones that didn't burrow in the sand

There's a breeze upon my chin and old Androcles steps in

With a lion's claw imbedded in his hand

He says, "I gotta go and get this taken care of,

So watch my back while I make my escape

It's hard to make the scene when you've been drinkin' gasoline

And you're out on Shadow Lake"

There's somethin' swimmin up from underwater

And you hear Birdbath Boy Billy give a shout

In the splash and the struggle you can glimpse the silver scales

Then it's still again with no one else about

But me I'm still sittin' down here by the pierside

Tryin' to teach some tricks to my pet snake

There's nowhere else to be, at least for you and me

Except out on Shadow Lake

MY WHOLE LIFE

Well I fell in love one time

And I said, "Come with me please

We'll live on art and madness and build houses in the trees"

She said, "No, I don't think so

I don't think I will

I'm gonna marry that dork with the fancy car,

And the house up on the hill"

Well, maybe I just got my priorities all crossed

I went for love and she went for money,

And we both lost

It's the story of my whole life

Then I went and met another girl

And I said, "Please be mine

We'll evaporate like water, and live like clouds in the sky"

She said "Woah, I think you scare me

You scare me quite a lot

I'm lookin' more for someone who doesn't have such crazy thoughts!"

Well I know I might be crazy, and I can't change who I am

But in this modern, sensible world

I'm just an also ran

That's the story of my whole life

So I went home to my cat

I said, "Buddy, it's just us two

I'm lost and dissapointed, what the hell am I gonna do?"

He said, "Shut up, you big sissy

I ain't no pet to you

Get me some water and some Friskies,

and my box needs changin' too!"

Well, It doesn't mean I'm gonna give up,

'Cause I have to live my dream

But sometimes I just want to stand and scream

It's the story of my whole life

These are the lyrics to the CD "My Whole Life"...hope you like 'em! My commentary is in italics before each song.

I know this guy. You know this guy. He's not the guy.

I need to travel south for lots of good reasons, and this is one!

Cynthia says I'm really better suited for Tinkerbell than Wendy, anyway. After some thought, I concur

I always hated seeing remaindered albums, stuff the major labels had just given up on. Those are people's dreams in there, friends. Artists independence rules!

I used to take LSD out late at night and go swimming in this lake...many strange stories to tell...

Well, my life really is better now. But let me tell you...

All songs copywright Mystic Lizard Records 2000